# Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.# Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
# There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
# Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
# Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
# Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
# When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen't get wet , water gets Chuck Noris.
# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
# When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
# Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
# Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
# There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
# God wanted to create the world in 10 days… Chuck Norris gave him 6.
# God said let there be light, Chuck Noris said say please
# When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives
# The Devil went down to Georgia not because he was looking for a soul to steal.. Chuck Norris took over hell for two weeks and told the Devil to get the fuck out
# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
# Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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